Stress is something that we all deal with, but people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) get a double whammy. We often have problems making decisions. Those decisions that are difficult enough for people without ADHD to make become a whole lot harder. This leads to feelings of stress and overwhelm.
We feel stuck and wonder why we can’t be normal. If you ever feel this way, I have news for you – there is no such thing as normal. Everyone is different, and that is the way it is supposed to be. How boring would life be if we were all the same? Even within the ADHD community, while we might face similar struggles, no one is the same as any other person.
Often the diagnosis of ADHD goes hand in hand with other diagnoses. Executive Function Disorder one of these. The executive function skills that we need to live a fulfilling life malfunction, so we often have trouble planning, organizing, scheduling and completing tasks. We have a hard time with recall, with following multi-step directions, and with staying on track and balancing priorities. One of the biggest struggles for us is that we lack the ability to handle emotions. I am not saying we are not allowed to feel things. Quite the opposite. The more we lean into our emotions, especially those icky ones, the faster we feel like you can conquer anything. For example, I recently helped a client who was struggling with her university classes. She had missed deadlines for projects, missed entire classes – her anxiety was through the roof. She was pretty sure she was not going to continue her studies. After just one session, she stated with confidence that she will still pass in the projects, regardless. And she knows that she can handle the next semester.
Life happens, whether we participate or not. I for one would rather live my life than let life happen to me. A large part of everything we do, which makes us feel emotions, boils down to our mindset. Change your mindset, change your life!
The Cambridge dictionary defines mindset as a person’s way of thinking and their opinions. It plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges. If yours is of a fixed mindset, where you believe that your basic qualities, such as your intelligence or talent are fixed – they can’t change. Your goal is to have a growth mindset. You believe your talents and intelligence can be developed by hard work, good strategies and input from others. You will achieve more by having this mindset.
WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
1. Stop and take a few deep breaths
2. Remind yourself that it is okay to feel this way, but then turn the negative self-talk into positive. For example: I am always late, to I am on time when I hang out with my friends. Or, my house is a disaster, but my children are clothed and fed and well looked after, loved.
3. Focus on the positive traits of ADHD. Your strengths. You are likely creative. You think outside the box – that means you usually work smarter, not harder. You have emotional sensitivity. Your intuition is off the charts – pay attention to it! There are plenty more. Keep searching for what goes right in your life.
4. Lower your expectations. So, you are not able to cook a homemade meal every night, but everyone was fed. If you are alone, that might be a harder task, but no worries. Maybe you had take-out because it was too much effort to cook, but you ate.
5. Celebrate yourself every day. Do things that make you happy, such as: dancing to your favorite song, taking a nice long walk, taking a bubble bath, hanging out with your favorite pet, watching a funny movie…you get the idea. Keep filling your cup and serve from your saucer.
ABOUT ME and WHAT I DO
I am a certified Rapid Results Coach. I take you on a personalized journey of self- discovery and help you instill confidence and self-worth. I meet you where you are and help you become your authentic self. It is my life’s purpose to guide others to become the best version of themselves. I will teach you a proven method to help guide you through anything you are going through. You will leave feeling renewed, re-energized and refreshed.
How do I know this works? I have been where you are. I was diagnosed at the age of 28 just after graduating University with a BA in Psychology. I was a single parent living with my parents. I had always felt that I was on the sidelines and not quite part of anything. Since learning this proven method of mastering my mind and emotions, I have felt validated and am able to see the positives and how having ADHD is a blessing. I have become much more confident and know I can do anything I set my mind to do. I look forward to meeting with every client. I want to help you live the best life possible. I believe in you!
One last thought: If you could wave a magic wand and have anything your heart desires, what would that look like for you?
If this connects with you, or anyone you know, please contact me through the following methods. I will get back to you as quickly as I can.