If you’ve been a victim of sexual abuse or know someone close to you who has, you’re likely especially empathetic to others who have experienced such monstrous behavior spawned by impulsive personalities.
Whether it’s your best friend, your sister, or your significant other, it’s hard to see them struggle with this trauma. Being on the outside looking in, empathizing but never fully grasping the extent of the experience, not having the emotional tools to help them transcend the scars— it’s hard.
Fortunately, a program set to release in 2021 could be the way out that these traumatized souls have been waiting for. It may not be the first to tackle the issue, but it’s been making headlines for its holistic approach to healing.
When programs seek to address deeply-rooted issues to overcome negative emotions that may have embedded themselves over the course of years, it’s essential to promote liberation from all angles.
Dayana Muñoz, the founder of the Coffee and Orgasms program, told us that, “you can’t try to solve traumas this personal unless you account for all the variables and help people walk through the full path one step at a time.”
The unified approach to healing
While there are countless trauma management programs out there, the thing that really makes Coffee and Orgasms unique is the fine-tuned approach: It handles things in a circular fashion to ensure that students can take the journey at a pace they’re comfortable with.
The spiritual methodology lets students heal from the inside out by developing a mindful connection. Women that have experienced sexual abuse will free their voice through deep conversations on their inner healing. They’ll find the courage to free themselves.
At the same time, Muñoz emphasizes the ideology of covering all your bases, which is why each aspect is addressed throughout the course of the program without exception. Talking about healing is a starting point but the progress can’t end there.
Finding forgiveness is almost as essential as breaking your silence if you hope to truly let go of the negative emotions that the traumatic experience brought on you. Beyond forgiveness, gratitude is the next thing that changes people’s outlook on life.
Forgiveness isn’t necessarily for the abuser (although many women discover authentic forgiveness through a deeper understanding of the cycle of abuse) but more so about forgiving ourselves for self-blame and isolation.
It’s about forgiving a culture that does not know how to deal with healing. Forgiveness is a layered process and comes in stages. It can never be rushed nor forced but the sooner you take steps towards letting go of hate, the sooner you’ll reach your state of serenity.
Gratitude does so much for the human mind. It can outweigh the stress caused by unforeseen obstacles, help people stay positive amidst the largest trials they’ve ever faced, and remind us about the things that make our life worth living.
“I’m an expert in overcoming sexual trauma; therapy is rarely enough. Finding a supportive community is so important. Being able to free the voice, that’s where healing starts.” – Dayana Muñoz
Coffee and Orgasms strives to be that very community where women of all backgrounds can feel supported no matter how difficult their past experiences have been. Talking about the things they’ve gone through, taking ownership of their life, and making friends along the way.
All this is easier said than done but Muñoz certainly has the qualifications and personal experience to pull it off. At the end of the day, there’s no better mentor than one who has walked the pain path of abuse and overcame it.
That level of empathy and understanding doesn’t come lightly.
“You can’t find these things in a textbook. Sexual abuse trauma is something that you can’t fully grasp just by talking to someone about it. Thus, having that first-hand experience is invaluable in my field.”
– Dayana Muñoz
People who go through the program will be able to let go of the corrosive thoughts that have been running through their minds for as long as they can remember. It will make it possible for them to drop the toxic shame that has been sabotaging their happiness.
Breaking your silence is the quickest path towards taking the power back. Getting rid of negative associations with regards to sexuality is an important part of that journey. In fact, there’s a lot of insight hidden within the program name itself.
What does the name mean?
We asked Muñoz what the name means. After all, Coffee and Orgasms isn’t exactly the most common combination that you’d see while browsing the web. To Muñoz, coffee symbolizes the soulful conversations that the members will be able to have within the community.
It’s that feeling of being able to share a brave space and having the capacity to spill your heart out with no worries of being judged. Coffee has always been a medium for like-minded people to gather and support each other, so why not apply the same logic to the program?
As Muñoz says, “a conversation with coffee is a moment of peace and reflection on your healing journey.”
The orgasms part of the name symbolizes a few aspects of the program — with the most obvious being the literal and physical definition of the word. Like we covered earlier, Muñoz believes that restoring a healthy relationship with sexual pleasure is paramount.
Moving past the trauma and onto a love-filled life will be a lot tougher if you don’t make an attempt at retrieving positive associations with sex. That said, the word ‘orgasm’ is being used to symbolize a lot more than intercourse here.
When you strip all the usual connotations away, at its core an orgasm is the highest level of closeness that you can achieve with another person. It’s the sensation of fully trusting someone with your heart, eliminating any distance between you, and providing intensive care for one another.
Ultimately, the most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself. Make an effort to intimately connect with your body after a traumatic experience. Connect with your senses, introduce sex with yourself first, and trust your body to release a liberating orgasm.
“Sex and trust begin with the woman.” – Dayana Muñoz
‘Orgasms’ manages to symbolize all the elements that the program seeks to cover in a single word. It reminds women that it’s okay to trust again, even if you’ve been hurt in the past. It tells them that love can be daunting sometimes but that doesn’t make it any less spectacular.
It reminds society that investing your trust in another person because you truly love them and want to share your deepest thoughts with them is the most genuine form of affection that you can display. Orgasms symbolize intimacy of the highest degree.
As women, we need to re-introduce a healthy partnership in our lives. A positive relationship where trust, commitment, and respect is honored by both parties. This form of affection is pivotal to feeling safe enough to receive love again in both sexual and sacred partnerships.
It’s every woman’s birthright.
Empowered, inspiring, and unapologetically liberated — Dayana Muñoz
It’s often said that behind every great program is a driven founder who has gone through the same challenges that their students are facing. That is certainly the case with Coffee and Orgasms; Muñoz is all too familiar with the obstacles that sexual abuse trauma can bring.
Muñoz was born in Colombia but she migrated to the United States with her mother at the age of seven. After having her own encounter with sexual abuse, she realized that getting the pain out of your system was so much harder than people make it out to be.
She would look everywhere for a role model or supportive figure that could be the person to help her break the silence on the traumatic experience. From mother figures to friends she treated as a sister, every connection was a potential opportunity to free herself from the burden.
Even with people that she was incredibly close to, Muñoz was surprised at how difficult it still was to talk about her experience and thus take the first step towards escaping the chains it had put on her life for so long.
The long-running silence caused the negative emotions to fester for what felt like an eternity, and this led to a myriad of problems. Perhaps the most prevalent issue was the severe lack of confidence in herself.
It came from a place of toxic shame that only got stronger as time went on. Keeping negative emotions so densely packed inside her was eating away at Muñoz’ very soul. She thought it would fade if she ignored it long enough but that day of spontaneous vanishing didn’t come.
Finally, Muñoz realized that breaking her silence was the only way to fully move on. After years of mental anguish, she accepted the fact that opening up is an essential part of the healing process and the initial step towards freeing yourself.
Once Muñoz managed to liberate herself from the toxic shame that had haunted years of her life, she soon realized that her purpose was to help others do the same. Not wanting people to suffer for as long as she did, Muñoz set out on a mission to liberate people from their trauma.
Having mastered neuro-linguistics programming, life strategy coaching, emotional intelligence, and being an avid student of tantric yoga, Muñoz sought to be the guide towards unshackling that many people have longed for. Being a mentor to people who are in the same position she was in has been her primary focus since.
A lot of Muñoz’ insight into how connecting your life to spiritual healing can help comes from Leah Alchin Piper, her Tantra mentor and the founder of More Love Mentor. Leah, an Elite Certified Tantra Educator, empowered Muñoz with the skills and wisdom she uses to help others.
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